Chased by Unicorn!

Rummaging through cupboards
shuffling sheaf of paper
i look for something
i know is not there, yet...

looking through tittles
neatly arranged on shelves
i try deciphering the story
that has not been told, yet...

the line is getting blurred
between heart and mind
i think what i feel
and, i feel what i think, yet....

this cohesion is more chaotic
than tsunamis of emotions
or thoughts... or both
i don't know what to call it
this oneness of mind and heart...
i survived their battle for supremacy
i could convince one over the other
occasionally, i would give in
to one's diktat or charm
i had one to ward off the other
but today both have united
in chasing me, my soul
something that i have
never seen eye to eye
or faced squarely.

Now, my mind
my heart
the duo - now merged in a unicorn
chase me to search for it
in words, in deeds
in trinkets, hidden beneath
layers of masquerade...

I rummage through cupboards
shuffle through sheaf of paper
dig in words of wisdom
and tales of time
I know, I am to discover it... yet...

The Sleepless Slumber

In between the folds of the sheet

as I roll restlessly sleepless on my bed,

I feel the prick of dreams unfulfilled,

                desires unmet, and

                destinations, still beyond reach.

Each time

I try sitting up and

breaking  free

 of this sleepless slumber

I remember,

The points of non – retreat.

The alleys I got in,

The ladders I stepped on

The depths I plunged in

all have strict confines

no space to maneuver

no place to turn

on these one way tracks .

Moving ahead is thus

a fait accompli

So move on do I,

stretching and pushing.

And there I hear it again –

the clink!

Clear and loud,

louder each time!

The sound reverberates deep inside the soul

and fills my ears…

for years  I have been hearing

these pulsating, throbbing, noise…

the chisel of compromise

chipping off the proud idols of my belief.

I have seen them fall,

one by one

as a defeated army-

those I believed in

and their beliefs…

It all crumbles down

and spreads on the satin white

of the sheet

I cover myself with

in dark nights,

the pricks of which I feel

as I toss on my bed        

                -unslept!

               

Afternoon Musing

Somewhere along the line
I stopped moving.
I stood immobile
while
the world moved
onward, backward
mostly in circles...

Standing statue-like
on a moving aisle
I experienced
stagnation
flowing in thick rivulets
engulfing everything
I valued
love, liberty, peace

Its quiet,
if you could decipher the hum-drum
a thousand languages breathe
only pause
silence... between words
thrown as gunshots.

The quest is no more
about any destination
or road, or means...
it is no more about discovery
of any kind...
its not hidden
that I seek...
Just the courage
to claim as my own,
the inertia that encircles me
and,
to be free.