Mastering the ease to bear the unease

I cannot drown
in my sorrow,
shallow as they seem
I merely paddle through
with heavy feet
often caught in sticky moss
spreading itself at the bottom
of this static, inert, dark, fluid
that floats within the confines
of my vision.

I blink and blink again
to clear the dampness
blurring my view
but the drops simply cling
to the corner
holding their turf,
I give up!

I see thus, the dry sun
with moist vision
foggy and wrapped
in the cloak
of my perception.

No wonder then
even on coarse concrete
when I manage to set foot
the puddle of sticky soot
is all that is left
as footprint...

The stink follows me
I carry my shallow pool within
not deep enough to drown,
nor steep enough to be washed away.
What else then can one do
but master the ease
of living in unease!

My Demons

Fighting the demons inside
every moment
in a never ending war-
split into tiny battles
fought across an overgrown body!
Winning each battle
is essential-
if no for survival - for sanity.
The white flag of peace
ignored
for it is no longer white-
dark patches of colored memories
thick moss of recollection of
acts of desperation
better forgotten
smear its contours.

These rejected pieces of
peace offerings
then chase the mind
as it runs in circles
within the confined space of
cells and membranes.

The mad rush of adrenaline
the craving to bite the forbidden apple
over and over again
a restless crusade for some unknown cause...
Pause,
the mind cries for a pause,
a brief pause...

The cries are responded to
with monitored doses of
desperate concoctions
that lull senses to black slumber
dark and deep.
But, for how long?

The languid body wakes up
to the call of demons.
The fight resumes all over again!!

A different lullaby!!

Upheavals
small and big
rock me to sleep.

I close my eyes
to destruction
and death-
every time, the tsunami
sweeps away
homes, families, dignity.

Every time someone robs us
of hard earned money,
or long preserved rights-
I pull up the sheet
higher above my head,
and block the light.

Every now and then
when I loose control
and give in to the devil
in my head-
I pop some pills
and lull my senses to deep sleep.

I have learnt to snore
at every disturbing thought,
still neither leaves-
the thoughts,
nor disturbance!

I urge to fly....

Once in a while
there is an urge to fly....
to be free of gravity
keeping roots tied to the ground
to be away from branches
spreading as shackles
to be detached from fruits
borne as destiny.

Once in a while
there is an urge to fly....
and experience oblivion
shapeless and nonconformist
purse the mystery of horizon
where the unmet meet
and to know how difficult it is
to give up, that one never had!!

Tricks of Survival

Moments tick.

Minutes pass.

Hours go by.

With closed eyes

I see the world as I want it to be.

Amidst rusty surroundings,

I feel the touch of soft petals

caressing my callous palms

scarred and coarse

for holding a tight rein

on things struggling to get out of control…

Fantasies soothe,

Imagination propels

to live yet another day.

Resurrecting hope

-          its there…

All that I want is just a step away,

a little stretch and there it is!

And, in anticipation I stretch my hands

grope, fumble and stretch a bit more…

And when futility of it all is blindingly bright,

I close my eyes

And, see the world as I want it to be.

Slowly,

Moments tick,

Minutes pass,

Hours go by,

I survive.

Clarity in Mist

Clarity of vision
and, the serenity of a misty evening-
a heady cocktail of the obvious,
and delicate mystery!

I clean my glasses
and perch them on the nose
turned red from cold and damp air.

Sleep weary eyes peer through
the recently cleaned transparent surface
bearing imprint of the fingers
that relived them of moist fog

What do I see?

A winding road
that passes through
the fine lines
of my fingertips.
My world is in my grip, literally!

In Between...

In between two lines
there is a meaning
waiting to be deciphered

In between two hands
there is a space
used to being manipulated

In between two eyes
there is a perspective
fighting to be unadulterated

In between two words
there is a pause
holding its own, to be differentiated

In between two lives
there is a being
surviving to be liberated